Proverbs 6:20-23 (NIV)
Tim. 4:12 (NIV)
When a teen is mature enough to set an example for other believers, then he’s old enough to begin to consider dating.
LEVELS OF DATING and Friendships
Acquaintance ; Casual Friendship ;
Close Friendship ; Intimate Friendship
When Are You Old Enough To Date?
- When your parents agree
- When you are aware of both the benefits AND dangers of dating
- When you have personally worked out from Scripture a set of dating standards
- When you have purposed that you will NOT lower those standards even if it means losing dates.
· EVERY DATE IS A POTENTIAL MATE
PARENTS NEED TO BE INVOLVED
- Eph 6:1-2 – Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and your mother.
- Prov 6:20-23 – 2 Lights in your lives. God placed them in your lives and they might know a bit more about life and marriage and relationships than you do! I know that is hard to believe.
IS SEX AS NORMAL AS OXYGEN, EATING and DRINKING AND SLEEP? YES! But there is a distinction
- the denial of sex does not produce harmful physical effects
- the satisfaction of hunger for food or thirst for drink, have no social implications or consequences as does sexual intercourse.
- satisfying sexual hunger involves another person.
- there is no such thing as ‘unstimulated kissing” we cannot control what God created to happen naturally.
THINGS TO LOOK FOR IN THE OTHER
- Is he/she a believer?
- How is their relationship with God?
- Do they have a desire to serve God?
- Does he/she get along with mother/father?
WHAT TO DO NOW
- develop your philosophy in harmony with Christian principles and scientific facts
- set ups some guidelines for dating and courtship.
- plan dates in advance (don’t be spontaneous)
- group participation dates are healthy – plan them
- avoid situations/activities which provoke sexual stimuli
- plan well balanced life – you need personal time
- avoid long engagements
You make friends not lovers
Positive Relationships STEPS
- make sure your motives are pure
- The objectives of the relationship need to be defined upfront.
- Openness and good communication are necessary
- Honesty must be stressed
- Set a proper atmosphere. Don’t let yourself be caught in an awkward situation
- Don’t become trapped by the relationship. Do things with other people.
- Strive to be like Christ and build each other up
- If you don’t have it, don’t touch it.
- Don’t start to get romantically involved. Don’t start something you cannot righteously satisty.
- Pray for the relationship
- Let Christ be in control
One should BE what he/she EXPECTS.
Parent – Child Communication
- Stay under parent’s authority. Rom. 13:1
- Build strong relationship with your parents
- KNOW the person you date is a believer, has a proper understanding of parental authority and has strong convictions and is growing in Christ
1 Thess 4:3-7 – Sexual Purity
Purity Rings and Covenant
Does God have a perfect mate for me?
- Be careful of the “compatibility myth”. No two people are compatible. All are sinners by nature.
- Be careful of thinking that God has a perfect mate for me, therefore I will pray and sit still. Better: List the kind of person you want and then get busy becoming that kind of person yourself.
- Be careful to think that “God will stop me if it’s not His will”
- Be careful of acting after prayer. God still expects you to follow biblical absolutes.
HOW TO PREPARE YOURSELF:
- develop skills, talents and social graces.
- learn biblical love and giving
- take proper care of your physical body, your mind, heart
Great stuff here, Dano. Honestly not looking forward to all of this with Levi and our soon-to-arrive daughter, but know it’s necessary for jon and I to start thinking of this and planning for this NOW.
Challenging youth to wait until they are an adult is one thing. Scaring the heck out of them, and telling them a condom is a provision for sin is irresponsible. Did you know the Lovers in the Song of Solomon have sex in Chapter 2, but don’t get married until Chapter 3? The kind of ignorance Church leaders have about this sort of in-your-face premarital sex in the Bible has gone on too long. If you want to know more, go to my website. It’s cheaper than a Purity Ring and a lot more fun than abstinence.