I’ve never been good at obedience. I love to follow my own plan and march to the beat of my own drum. I’m the type of person that when faced with any sort of road block I want to get around it on my own. I don’t like to ask for help from anyone. I’ve recently decided to give up on trying to do what I thought I wanted; it wasn’t working out and I was exhausted. When I popped the bubble that I had put God in, I was met with total peace and confidence in knowing that my Heavenly Father was in control, and He has the best plan for me already in motion.
His plan has led me to Haiti, where I have gotten to see His glory manifest in tangible ways and I have felt His spirit pushing me out of my comfort zone where the Lord has walked with me each step of the way. From the moment I knew God wanted me to move to Haiti I have had so many questions for Him.
What if fundraising doesn’t come in?
What if I misheard and I’m not supposed to be in Haiti?
What if I can’t learn the language?
What if I get sick?
What if I get there and I fail every single day?
What if I’m not equipped?
What if God doesn’t come through this time?
To each “what if” God brought peace and comfort and reminded me who He is.
“My plan is great, my will is being done.”
“Love has no language, I will speak through you.”
“I’m a healer.”
“I will never condemn you for trying, and what if you succeed?”
“As long as you have me, you have everything you need.”
“Have I ever failed you before?”
God lets me ask questions! He doesn’t get frustrated that I ask, He reminds me who He is! He shows me that He is in control and that I don’t need to know everything. I just need to have eyes to see and ears to hear, an open mind, a softened heart, and trust that when I said “Lord send me” He would. That when I surrendered and asked God to use me, He is.
Every day I wake up and I look around me and am reminded of His love. I see the people I live with and the family I have here. I see the friends I’ve made in the town I live in. I see people being healed of their injuries in front of my eyes! I see joy in the eyes of the kids that meet me at the gate every day. I hear friends laughing as we grow together. I see the ocean and the mountains that God intentionally placed me in between. I hear Sidone and Jezila singing in the kitchen and smell the food that they so lovingly prepare. I feel the sun on my skin, and remember the Son that died so I could live. I feel the Holy Spirit when the wind blows, and with every step I take I am reminded that I am here on purpose and that when I obey, God will leave me in awe every night when I lay down to rest.